Ummmm... could you repeat that?

This morning at school I took another teacher's hall duty before school to pay her back for filling in for my duty one day. As two little first graders walked by, I said my usual cheery, "Good morning!!" The one looked brightly up at me and said, "I have a heller." Okay. Did he say what I thought he said? I AM well over 40 and the old hearing ability is a little compromised. So I politely said, "Excuse me?" And he repeated it exactly the same, but this time the other little boy also told me that he has a "heller too!" Well, I'm not up on the latest video games, so I'm thinkin' maybe that's what it is. Or maybe it's a brand of sneakers, or a toy, or maybe even a really bad headache. All of this was flying through my head at the speed of, well, the speed of a 40-something brain, when one of the boys added, "Yeah, we were just at the nurse."

LIGHT BULB!!

I responded, "Oh, you have an inhaler!"
They weren't the only ones who were breathing easier!

Be afraid... be very, very afraid.

For some random reason, I googled myself to see what would happen. I found my name in this funny post below at http://www.outsports.com/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t6604.html


Most Feared People in Sports

By Maddog
Oct 29 2005, 11:37 AM
10 Most Feared People in Sports
I saw this list online and wanted to add my own: Nancy B.

Sport: Tetherball

In third grade Nancy was the queen of tetherball. No girl would play her and a boy would only play her if he was called a chicken or a wussy or was triple-dog-dared. And with good reason. Nancy towered over everyone in the class. She'd been held back two years so she was the size of a fifth grader. And she was mean. She would do holds and double-taps and then deny she did them. No one argued with her. No one dared.I would say of all the sports I've played since, I've never been half as terrified as I was when I played Nancy B. in Tetherball.


This post cracks me up for a couple of reasons:
First, I DID tower over everyone else.
Second, I was the one that was a huge wuss. And no one has ever been terrified of me, except maybe the dogs when I threaten them with a rolled up newspaper and a day of fasting.
Third, I was not married in third grade, therefore I was not Nancy B. back then. I was Nancy R.

I guess I'll have to go google my maiden name. Maybe it'll come up that I was a wuss that Nancy B. beat.

The Madagascar Diet

I'm going to co-author a book with my son when he returns from his 3 month trip to Madagascar. I talked to him last weekend on Skype and found that he's lost 15 pounds in 8 weeks. I figure we can call it the Madagascar Diet: it'll sound really exotic and mysterious, but all it really entails is eating only 2 meals a day that consist mostly of rice. Just for kicks we'll throw in recipes on Beetle Burgers (okay, so this link doesn't take you to beetle recipes. I actually couldn't find any, so I'll have to get creative in my recipes!). I could also highlight my Lemur Lasagne and Mashed Millipedes, served on rice, of course! If you'd like to be a taste-tester, please let me know. My kids have already declined the job.

My dogs are just gross.

This is Sheepy, also affectionately called Nasty Sheep. You can see why. Sheepy has taken many baths, but nary a dent could be made in her petrified slobber armor. Sheepy is the beloved possession of Jen-i-fur Low-paws, our German Shepherd/Corgi/Chow mix. Yeah, I know. We haven't been able to figure that one out either. Maybe there was a step stool involved. But I digress.

Jen had many other beloved toys until Heidi, AKA, the Princess, arrived and systematically disemboweled the whole herd, leaving only Sheepy. Maybe Sheepy was even too disgusting for Heidi. Which is hard to believe, because as off yesterday we renamed Heidi "Poopfur."

We live in the middle of a large field that the Canadian geese just love to rest in, and well, rest-room in. In the same manner that my grandmother used to douse herself in Jean Nate', Heidi proceeded to douse herself in goose waste. Ugh. I do NOT have a picture of that. It's a sight and smell that I do not wish to relive. My most wonderful and forever-to-be-adored Hubs bathed Princess Poopfur. I think I love him more today than yesterday.

Yeah, my dogs ARE disgusting. But for some reason, I love them. Sometimes more than my kids (Don't tell the kids).

Blessings... with a few bumps in the road

PA is known for its awful roads. We are a crossroads state for traffic going to New England, NY, NJ, OH, and well, all over the north-east. So we get a lot of heavy-duty truck traffic. And our roads show it. You can be sailing along, all nice and smoothly, then, WHAM! Your car hits a pothole- no wait, more like a sink-hole, and you spend the next 5 minutes trying to find which way your cell phone and dentures flew. It struck me that life is like that. Smooth, then rough, then smooth, then rough. That was our weekend.

There were HIGHS, then there were lows.

Friday: a high- my Sunshine came home from college for a week.

Friday: a low- eldest step-daughter has car accident.

Saturday: a high- birthday shopping for Sunshine.

Saturday: a low- Joey Oreo-y, one of our boomerang cats that found his way home from the farm, is noticeably sick and is not eating or drinking.

Sunday: a high- worshipping at church with all 3 of our girls.

Sunday: a low- Joey goes to the Great Litterbox in the Sky.

Sunday: a high- we four women attend a bridal shower for my niece.

Sunday: a low- Hubs had to dig the grave for poor Joey... in frozen ground.

Sunday: a high- we all went out to dinner for Sunshine's b-day.

Sunday: a low- eldest step-daughter had to return to college (with her father's car!).

Sunday: a high- 3 of Sunshine's guy friends came over for ice cream cake (like we needed that after eating at a shower and a Mexican restaurant).

Monday: a low- Sunshine needs an appliance for her TMJ and locked jaw and insurance won't pay a red cent. Drats.

Monday: a high- Sunshine needs new tires on her car, and Hubs realizes that the junk car he bought for parts has 4 new tires that just "happen" to fit her car (God is good!)

And then Tuesday: another high- I got to teach all my beloved kidlets at school that I hadn't seen since Friday. And dang it, I love those kids and I love my job!

Thank you, Lord, for the bumps and trials that make us appreciate the calm and peaceful.

How can this be? I'm only 29!!

My baby's 21. How can this be? It's truly impossible for 2 reasons:

1. I'm only 29.

2. I'm still carrying my baby weight. How long can I use that excuse? Is there an expiration date on excuses?

Hungry and ready to eat at Fiesta Mexico!

A strawberry margarita! Delish! Her older sis and Gramps gave her a little help finishing it.

Yum! Ice cream cake! Complete with 21 candles. Good thing we didn't set off the smoke alarm.

Grammie and Gramps helped us celebrate - there's no way my dad would pass up a good Mexican meal!



Lovin' from the 'rents.

Calling Dr. Dad

Here's the patient. My Hubs says he can fix her. He's a car guy and I believe he CAN, but where to find the time? Hum.. we'll see what the summer brings.

Slip Slidin' Away

What do you get when you mix this:





















with this:
















with something like this:
















and with something like this??

















You don't want to know. Let's just say it was ugly. Two crying girls calling from 2 hours away, with the bumper laying on the ground, the airbags deployed, and antifreeze everywhere. Thankfully Hubs had just left them 10 minutes before and was able to turn around and get back to them in about a half hour. A tow truck, a nice state police officer, their daddy, and a warm night at a hotel, with major helpings of praise to our gracious God enabled them to get through it all. And thankfully, the only injury is to our wallet.