Why would I WANT to work at home?

Work at home as a online rebate processor‏
From:
Positions Available (rebateprocessorsathm22@BuyGenuineOnline.net)

Sent:
Tue 4/08/08 2:37 PM

"Click here ---> work at home as a online rebate processor"

I receive this offer at least once a week via my e-mail, and every time it cracks me up. They must think they're TEMPTING me with the offer to "work at home." Silly them. If they were flies on the wall at my house, and believe me, we live near two farms, so there often ARE flies on our walls, they'd see that I use every ounce of my sanity NOT to run screaming from my house every morning. I work OUT of the house to get AWAY from the craziness. We're like the real life version of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
1. We have a cat who walks around with his head on sideways, a.k.a., Crooked Jack.

2. Jack is kept company by his mother, Daisy, who is a good mouser but likes to bring her conquests into the house to prove to us she's a good mouser.

3. Jack also has a brother, Tater. We should have named him Rosie O'Donnell because he doesn't shut up.

4. Jack's "Auntie" Hashbrown has taken to sharpening her claws on our upholstered furniture.

5. Jack's other "Auntie" Tigre' is nothing more than a blob that moves from room to room, occasionally eating and using the litter box.

6. Our dog Jen-i-fur Low-paws developed epilepsy 10 days ago and is now on meds that make her excessively thirsty (What goes in must come out. Yeah. The makers of Bounty LOVE us.).

7. We have baby gates up to keep Jen in the kitchen, but then the other two dogs feel like the grass is greener on the other side of the baby gate. Back and forth we go, herding dogs from one side to the other. My sheep herding skills are well refined. Too bad we don't own any sheep.

8. My 13 year old Maltese mix has developed selective hearing. She won't come when I call her, but open a can of dog food and she's there in warp speed.

9. My youngest step-daughter's living areas look like "who did it and ran" as my grandmother used to say. Her room looks like a tornado, earthquake, grocery store, beauty supply store, and clothing store all partied hard and then threw everything up. And forget using her hallway bathroom, unless you have a chisel to get through the crust of hairspray fallout on the sink counter and a wheelbarrow in which to load her beauty supplies that are left all over said-counter.

10. Can you say, "Shedding season?"

There's my 10 Reasons while I go AWAY to work to my little inner city school. It soothes me, calms me, and provides a sanctuary for me so that I'm ready for the battlefield when I come home. I do NOT want to work from home. Thanks for the offer, though.