A different kind of drug problem...

When I grow up, I want to be a beach bum.

I want to be HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!

You know, people that are addicted to cigarettes can get all kinds of help: programs, patches, etc. and hopefully give up cigarettes forever. Addiction handled.

People that are alcoholics can get similar supports and programs and hopefully someday, put away alcohol forever.


People that are addicted to food can get all kinds of weightloss programs and pills and hopefully someday, give up food forever.

Wait.

We can't give up food forever!! Well, someday we will. I don't think there's food in heaven, but if there is, I hope it's Tandycakes, cheesecake, and lobster with clarified butter.

ANYWAY, it's just not fair. With other addictions you can get to the point where that thing is out of your life completely. But with us food addicts, we can't give up food completely. We HAVE to learn to handle the addiction and show some restraint while still imbibing in the addiction. This wouldn't be a problem if everything tasted like cauliflower, or raw clams on the half shell.

If we can trade in cars, why isn't there a place to trade in addictions? I personally would like to be addicted to, say, sit-ups. Or actually cooking for my poor deprived family. Or better yet, praying. Or producing edifying comments all day long.

Alas, it's food. Such a sad, pathetic addiction. I just hope I never have to choose between cheesecake and my Hubs. That WOULD be a tough one.

Why would I WANT to work at home?

Work at home as a online rebate processor‏
From:
Positions Available (rebateprocessorsathm22@BuyGenuineOnline.net)

Sent:
Tue 4/08/08 2:37 PM

"Click here ---> work at home as a online rebate processor"

I receive this offer at least once a week via my e-mail, and every time it cracks me up. They must think they're TEMPTING me with the offer to "work at home." Silly them. If they were flies on the wall at my house, and believe me, we live near two farms, so there often ARE flies on our walls, they'd see that I use every ounce of my sanity NOT to run screaming from my house every morning. I work OUT of the house to get AWAY from the craziness. We're like the real life version of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
1. We have a cat who walks around with his head on sideways, a.k.a., Crooked Jack.

2. Jack is kept company by his mother, Daisy, who is a good mouser but likes to bring her conquests into the house to prove to us she's a good mouser.

3. Jack also has a brother, Tater. We should have named him Rosie O'Donnell because he doesn't shut up.

4. Jack's "Auntie" Hashbrown has taken to sharpening her claws on our upholstered furniture.

5. Jack's other "Auntie" Tigre' is nothing more than a blob that moves from room to room, occasionally eating and using the litter box.

6. Our dog Jen-i-fur Low-paws developed epilepsy 10 days ago and is now on meds that make her excessively thirsty (What goes in must come out. Yeah. The makers of Bounty LOVE us.).

7. We have baby gates up to keep Jen in the kitchen, but then the other two dogs feel like the grass is greener on the other side of the baby gate. Back and forth we go, herding dogs from one side to the other. My sheep herding skills are well refined. Too bad we don't own any sheep.

8. My 13 year old Maltese mix has developed selective hearing. She won't come when I call her, but open a can of dog food and she's there in warp speed.

9. My youngest step-daughter's living areas look like "who did it and ran" as my grandmother used to say. Her room looks like a tornado, earthquake, grocery store, beauty supply store, and clothing store all partied hard and then threw everything up. And forget using her hallway bathroom, unless you have a chisel to get through the crust of hairspray fallout on the sink counter and a wheelbarrow in which to load her beauty supplies that are left all over said-counter.

10. Can you say, "Shedding season?"

There's my 10 Reasons while I go AWAY to work to my little inner city school. It soothes me, calms me, and provides a sanctuary for me so that I'm ready for the battlefield when I come home. I do NOT want to work from home. Thanks for the offer, though.

I'm SO glad I live in PA where they use our money "wisely."

FOXNEWS.COM HOME > POLITICS

Pennsylvania Considers Mobile Liquor Stores for Rural Areas
Thursday, February 28, 2008

HARRISBURG, Pa. — The state agency that regulates Pennsylvania liquor stores may take its products on the road.
The idea of mobile liquor stores is just one of several possibilities the agency is weighing to make wine and hard liquor more available in rural parts of the state, said Nick Hays, a spokesman for the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board.
Board chairman P.J. Stapleton mentioned the idea Tuesday during a Senate hearing on the agency's budget, but said it's not a priority for the agency.
The agency hasn't fully investigated the concept, Hays said. Officials would have to determine whether state law allows it and whether it's logistically feasible, he said.
The agency oversees more than 600 liquor stores.

Here's my mom (left) at her aunt's 100th birthday party! Aunt Betty looks pretty amazing for being a century old, yes? I would like to be 100 if I could be like Aunt Betty:

1. Still have my natural haircolor and never turn gray.

2. Get a letter from a Republican president.

3. Be able to see well enough to read a book a day.

4. Know who everybody is.

5. Get pushed around in a wheelchair. Hey, after all of those years on her feet, she deserves to take a load off.

6. Still have my children talking to me and actually acknowledging that I'm their mother.

7. Oh, my hubs came home with a taco salad from Wendy's. I gotta go. Maybe that would be #7: still have my teeth to eat yummy things like taco salads!