Monday, September 01, 2008

Dog= spending lots, and lots, and lots of money

I'm sorry, Lord, for not being a good steward of the money you bless me with. You see, I adopted this dog, and I really thought I was doing a noble thing by saving this dog from an uncertain future in the hills of West Virginia. I was "rescuing" a dog! Okay, so the fee was $200, but she came already spayed, with shots, and a goodie basket (for her. I was hoping there would be chocolate chip cookies and a gift certificate for Starbucks, but it only held rawhides, a leash, a ball, and bacon nibblers).

And Lord, you didn't give us the ability to see the future. How was I to know that she wouldn't stay in the yard and I would have to spend
more money to get a long tie-out lead for her? And because she pulls so badly when she goes for a walk, I had to buy her a harness. My daughter calls it Allie's "backpack" and says she looks like a little nerdy kid with it on.

And I HAD to save my furniture by
buying her MORE rawhides, balls, and bacon nibblers. Which didn't help. My couch now boasts a large hole in the cushion and my end table is missing a corner. Then there's the shoes. Three pairs of flip flops and a pair of leather sandals. And then the remote control became a snack. And of course the cats are the constant recipients of torture from Allie. And various Beanie Babies lost their lives.

So I spent more
money on puppy classes. She did learn to sit, unless she sees a cat, and she did learn to stay, unless she sees a cat, and she learned to come, unless she sees a cat. You get the idea.

And I spent
money on paper towels and Odor-B-Gone. LOTS of paper towels and Odor-B-Gone. Then I spent MORE money on "Poochie Bells." Yes, there really are such things. They're 95% successful in helping to house break your dog, who is supposed to learn to ring the bells when she needs to go out. I've found them helpful for beating the dog when she pees in the house (just kidding. I just smack the newspaper in my hand. And of course, that hasn't helped either). So I guess Allie is part of that 5% that Poochie Bells just doesn't work for. Drats.

Due to the torturing, chewing, and peeing, I spent yet again
MORE money to get her a crate to stay in while we're gone for a few hours, like at church (where I pray for forgiveness for adopting this dog and pray for wisdom for the future to never give into temptation again).

And since she IS a puppy and I'm a sucker, I just had to sign her up for Doggie Daycare at The Animal House so that she would get exercise and make new friends while I am at work (okay, so it's really so that I have some furniture and a dry floor to come home to).

I haven't added it all up yet. I'm afraid to. I think I'm nearing the
$10,000 mark. So God, again, please forgive me. And please heal this dog's bladder and make her teeth fall out. Amen.

5 comments:

Karate Mom said...

Oh my GOODNESS, the beating her with the bells thing made me laugh SO HARD!! That, and the "heal her bladder and make her teeth fall out" thing. HEE HEE!
We have always crated Holly whenever we leave because our fence in the backyard isn't great and she's not "built" for hot weather. (That whole "Norwegian" part of her Elkhound thing!) We just tell her to go in her house and off she trots!
She has a permanently guilty conscience, though, because when she was a puppy she had a problem with submissive urination, so she'd piddle whenever we'd get even the slightest bit harsh with her...which we did a lot when she'd pee in the house when we were potty training her. So she'd pee in the house, then we'd go to scold her, then she'd start to piddle. *sigh* Submissive urination and potty training are a bad combo!
Sorry, I just wrote a novel!!

Indian Lake Papa said...

We have no pets - only each other! oh, does my horse count ?? $3000.00 a year - if no emergencies!

40winkzzz said...

I'm not sure I'd ever go back to the puppy days. It does get better, though. Hope may be a few years away, but there *is* hope!

CrossView said...

Oh my! ROFL!

WOuld it be cheaper just to buy fencing and let her be an outside dog??!! I'm just sayin'.... =P

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha!!!

So when are we going to write a book together?